Tea. Challenging Assumptions
In my line of work, challenging assumptions is a charge - a specific trait that is valued, at least on paper and in completely academic settings (meaning, not the real world.) Often finding myself between worlds, I find this concept easy to hone in on, which usually makes people upset.
Challenging assumptions has tremendous value. It uncovers hidden skews based on outdated information, incomplete knowledge or unconscious bias. Bringing this to the light, we are able to decide the information we wish to work from (that’s not so clean in a world where information is abundant - slightly separate thread). We are able to fill in our knowledge gaps as a collective, and we are able to identify unconscious bias so it may become conscious and challenged appropriately. I realize that sounds hostile and scary, and honestly it is. But at its core I find it to be cathartic and empowering.
It also fuels creativity and breakthrough! The best examples of scientific breakthroughs challenged the status quo. Today, the best technology, especially with regard to the Universe is a constant quest for the theories to click knowing we do not have all the information. We live in a world where, by virtue of living in an extremely advanced society with thousands of years of written history, we forget that there is so much we just don’t know. Yes, that’s scary, but isn’t it also exciting?!
Challenging assumptions hones our problem-solving skills, and hallelujah because we have some really complex problems at our feet. When we’re able to consider the alternative, and really see things from various perspectives, we are able to arrive at new conclusions rather than reaching the same dead ends over and over again.
This moment is asking us to be adaptable to change. In the wake of a chaos machine, we have the opportunity to decide how we want the new thing to be. There’s a sense of grief here, and for some trauma. If that sounds like you, feel your feelings! They are valid. They matter. May they fuel the fire you wield. There’s also a day after, and that’s the world I am choosing to focus on. What do I want my day after to look like?
I’m asking myself, what assumptions are being challenged in my real-day-to-day life? Specifically, what would happen if I choose to feel differently about them? Let me give you two examples.
What if I really did trust the Universe?
I methodically went through every aspect of my life and asked myself what they could look like if I really trusted the Universe. Meaning, if I didn’t rationalize away things based on statistics, life experience, old stories, societal rules etc, what would that look like? In fear of being completely delusional and foolish, I also asked myself what the worst case scenario would be. Meaning, okay, if I really let the Universe lead, and I surrender, what happens if it doesn’t “work”? I answered this question for every aspect of my life. Maybe start with these themes if you’re interested: health, wealth, love, relationships, and perfect self expression.
I decided I would give it a go! Until the completion of this solar wheel (Samhain - October 31, 2025), I am going to let the Universe lead. I am going to trust it is going to work out. I am not going to meddle, or take control, or force a situation to be.
There’s nuance here because this isn’t a “Jesus take the wheel” statement. It is way more subtle than that. For example, my tax situation turned into a bit of a nightmare this year. Coupled with other unexpected expenses, it's left me feeling overwhelmed. My instinct is to spin into protective mode—signing up for payment plans, withdrawing from investments, or avoiding all expenses.Instead, I'm letting the Universe lead. This means trusting that my finances will sort themselves out because I have enough resources and knowledge to weather this temporary storm. It feels scary and a bit foolish—my conditioned self is shouting protests! So I've struck a compromise: I'll let the Universe lead and quiet my doubts until November 1st, 2025, then reassess. This approach is completely contrary to my usual control-everything strategy!
What would my inner-world look like if I didn’t internalize other people’s behavior?
If you know me irl you probably have a sense of my boldness, and unrelenting attitude. That is true, and it something I cherish about myself. If you know me irl, and one of my inner circle you know the extent to which I ruminate and stew on other people’s behavior in context of me. “What did I do to elicit that reaction?” “Why did that person say such a terrible thing?” “How could I have gone about that better?”These might sound like innocuous questions, and they would be if they stopped there. The problem is I think about it days, weeks, sometimes years later and that is not healthy. As a small example (there are infinitely bigger ones): One of my bosses who I have developed a good, maybe even great relationship with used to make me feel like the ant on the bottom of his shoe. He would get angry with me and I would assume I was wrong, stupid, and didn’t belong. We were walking through a logistics question, and I arrived at a conclusion a different way. When I explained it, he was visibly frustrated and snapped at me to “stop saying that” as though I was wrong and stupid.
Rather than internalizing that, I am allowing it to simply bounce off of me. Not reflected back, not internalized, bounce. Like a zebra who just shakes it off. Again, does not mean I will stop asking myself hard questions. It simply means I won’t internalize the answers.
I am choosing to challenge my own assumptions.
That means that all of the reasons challenging assumptions makes people upset directly apply to me in my own inner world while my external world is unstable and chaotic.
The cognitive dissonance is real!
My ego and pride feel small and fragile.
I am creating flexibility around my identity, and reevaluating my values in real time.
I fear uncertainty, deeply. Was that obvious?
I am deeply emotionally invested.
I hate feeling stupid, foolish, mocked, etc. Like it physically burns. I can feel it now just writing the words.
I also think this is the ask for this moment, right here, right now.
The world is changing. Most of the things I grew up believing have proven obsolete, and I want to accept that fact, learn from it, hold the wisdom of the ancients while meeting the moment and being a lightworker for humankind. That’s bold. I get it. What’s the alternative though? I want to live in a word where we choose each other as humans and creatures of the Earth. I want to do my part in creating that world, and for me in this moment that means widening my aperture and challenging my assumptions. I strongly suspect the result will be clarity.
What assumptions are you challenging?
Tarot. King of Cups
— emotional wisdom, compassion, and wisdom amid chaos and conflict
The paradigm shift is powerful and potent! This eclipse is a doozy. Venus is transiting to Aries for the first time in 164 years, literally to the day of the start of the American Civil War. That is not a premonition. It is an acknowledgement that things are pretty wild right now. However, you are your own sovereign of your Divine light.
You can choose compassion and wisdom amid chaos and conflict. You can understand your emotions as intelligence, rather than irrational or weak. Your choice gives those around you permission. If that’s not revolutionary, I don’t know what is.
What world do you want to live in? How do you want it to look? Who is in your community? How do they feel? How are the kids? What questions are they asking?
Dream with a full heart, and an open mind. The time is now.
In your daily life, channel King of Cups energy by creating a "compassion practice" during moments of conflict or chaos. When faced with a heated conversation or challenging news, pause for three conscious breaths before responding. During these breaths, intentionally shift from reactive emotion to reflective wisdom.
Try this simple practice: Place one hand over your heart center, take those three breaths, and silently ask, "What would emotional wisdom look like in this moment?" Then respond from that centered place. Like the King who remains steady while ruling the emotional realm, you can acknowledge the waves around you without being swept away.
This week, notice one situation where you successfully maintained compassion amidst conflict. How did this shift affect both your internal experience and the outcome of the interaction? Your emotional wisdom creates ripples far beyond what you might imagine.
As Venus makes this historic transit into fiery Aries, the King of Cups offers us a balancing counterpoint—reminding us that even amid planetary intensity and social upheaval, emotional wisdom and compassionate leadership remain our most powerful tools for navigating change.
Tidbits. Ted Lasso
Friendly reminder, I’m an American living in the UK and despite speaking the same language, communication is hard. Lucky me, I have finally found Ted Lasso and boy do I feel seen! Also, laughter is balm of the soul. Another example of injecting delight into a tumultuous environment. I know I’m years late to the party, but gosh it’s good!
Just last week, I have a Ted Lasso moment basically anytime I attempt to get something done it seems! The blank stare and polite smile I receive reminded me of the scene where Ted confuses everyone by calling the locker room a "locker room" instead of "the changing room." These tiny cultural differences create daily moments of both connection and disconnection. I am channeling Ted in learning to embrace these moments with humor rather than frustration, or worse and more often — assuming I am the problem, something is wrong with me, and they think I’m stupid and don’t belong. What would my life look like if that wasn’t my assumption?
As we navigate this time of profound change, may we all find the courage to challenge our assumptions—whether by trusting the Universe more deeply, refusing to internalize others' reactions, or simply finding humor in the cultural gaps that remind us we're all figuring things out as we go.
I'd love to hear which assumptions you're questioning in your own life. Reply to this email with your thoughts, or simply carry the question with you this week and notice what arises.
With an open heart and curious mind,
Aspen
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